The tyranny of female orgasm
Faking it? The tyranny of the female orgasm
Yes, yes - well, no.
Germaine Greer, who's in a film about vibrators, cuts the Big O down to size Female orgasms wander through the news media like the Loch Ness monster,glimpsed now and then, but never quite surfacing. Now we have two moresightings, thanks to the latest book by Fay Weldon and a new film about theRabbit vibrator. In What Makes Women Happy? Weldon recommends that a good womanshould fake her orgasms "and then leap out of bed and pour him champagne,telling him: 'You are so clever'. " Meanwhile, the new film, Rabbit Fever (inwhich I make a cameo appearance), launches next week, purporting to tell thestory of the sex toy's rise and its tendency to create orgasm addicts. What isit about the female orgasm nowadays? The O-word itself is horrid and its meaningis confused; the root is the Greek word for tumescence or engorgement, not forthe spasm that invariably accompanies ejaculation in the male, of whichsomething similar can be produced in the female, but less reliably and withrather more effort. Candles and carrots used to be credited with more potency intriggering female orgasm than the male member but the march of technology hasproduced a purpose-made pleasure-tool, namely the vibrator, of which the marketleader is the Rabbit. For a mere £30, any woman can acquire a "good-sizedRabbit vibrator with an extra: the beads can move up and down for pure pleasurewhilst the rabbit is teasing your cl*t", according to the advert. The rabbit isa two-eared projection on the upper side of the shaft of the instrument. Andthere's more: "The shaft has a number of pleasure beads and the touch controlallows you to choose between vibrate, pulse, escalate or multi-speed", allaccompanied by the kind of droning buzz you associate with a cordlesshedge-clipper. You can get silent Rabbits, but they cost more and they're moreof the squirmy type. Eventually men will have penile inserts that give them asimilar range of extras, vibrating eggs in the penis head, jelly spikes,rotating beads. But a man takes more looking after than a Rabbit and today'swomen don't have the time. In modern consumer society the name of the game isinstant gratification and the paradigm of all pleasure is solitary. Sole usersguarantee the widest volume of sales of any appliances, hence the iPod and theRabbit. Apparently Fay Weldon did not watch Sex and the City, which is whatlaunched the Rabbit into every boudoir in the Western world. Women no longerexpect men to supply orgasms, if they ever did. It's only the men who expect tosupply orgasms; their penis gives them so much pleasure that they can't imagineit not doing the same for their sexual partner. Most of us do fake orgasm,often, but we could do without Weldon betraying our little secret. In every pornvideo the whores are whimpering, snorting and panting from the git-go, at themerest touch in vaguely the right area from a even the rubberiest of maleorgans. Faking it is de rigueur. Most women do it because given their workloadthey need to get the sex over with in the nicest way and get some sleep. It'scalled "keeping everyone (but yourself) happy". That principle is a chiefmechanism in women's oppression and I am saddened but not surprised to hearWeldon upholding it. If you're Paris Hilton - hugely rich, entirelyself-willed and don't give a damn whether the people around you are happy or not- you can skip the whole performance. In a porn video made by some hustler whenHilton was only 18, he crouches head-down between her thighs, snuffling like atrufflehound, while she lies back, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. The sequence lasts about 20 minutes. I almost expected her to ask the famousquestion from Deep Throat: "Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?" But sheremains mute and motionless throughout. She could be asleep. Attagirl. Therest of us wouldn't dare to be so disobliging. We moan and groan to make our manfeel good, much as a man will tell his date that she's the prettiest girl in theroom. It's just good manners. And as for telling him how clever he is aftersex and pouring him a rewarding glass of champagne, it's hard to do that if he'sflat on his back snoring. Most of us are too insecure to be upfront about ourfailure to respond. Weldon is wrong: men are not expected to supply women'sorgasms. These days women are expected to produce orgasms on demand. Regardlessof age or fitness or the tedium of the relationship, we're all supposed to behot, up for it, in all circumstances, at all times. The insertion of the penisis tantamount to lighting the blue touchpaper. If we don't go off like afire-cracker, it's not the man's fault but ours. The most potent cause of somuch faking it is fear of appearing frigid, of being a "dud bash". Mid-20th-century marriage manuals encouraged men to be patient, to stimulatetheir partners in a host of different ways, and to delay their own gratificationas long as possible. The woman was to be the violin; the man the virtuoso. Witha man who knew what he was doing, a woman could experience multiple orgasms,remaining in an orgastic state for many minutes. Alas, the multiple orgasm has proved even more elusive than the mutual orgasm.
Sexualities have many forms of expression and those forms are continually changing. From 1927, when Wilhelm Reich first published The Function of the Orgasm, orgasms have been represented as essential to mental health.
In the beginning these weren't just any orgasms;the essential orgasms were those that eliminated tensions, leaving theindividual in a state of equilibrium, self-regulating and therefore capable of freedom. Oppressive political systems, it was claimed, induced mindlessservility and impotence by censoring free sexual expression. Unfulfilledsubjects sublimated their frustrations in militarism, racism and genocide. IfHitler had had the right orgasms the Holocaust would never have happened. "Rightsex" was a purifying ritual; masturbation was discouraged. For women, theright orgasm was vaginal; orgasms deriving from stimulation of the clitoris werethought to be superficial, inferior, typical of the narcissistic immaturepersonality. Better understanding of female anatomy brought the awareness thatthere were few nerve ends in the vagina, despite the myth of the G-spot. Properstudy of the ramifications of the clitoris revealed that it was not so much alocalised button as the outcropping head of a deep neural network involving thewhole pelvis, including the vagina. The truth was out: women did not need men'shelp to reach orgasm. Indeed, men could get in the way. The more they fiddledand twiddled, the more in the way they were. Body&soulFaking it? The tyranny of the female orgasmYes, yes - well, no.Germaine Greer, who's in a film about vibrators, cuts the Big O down to size Female orgasms wander through the news media like the Loch Ness monster,glimpsed now and then, but never quite surfacing. Now we have two moresightings, thanks to the latest book by Fay Weldon and a new film about theRabbit vibrator. In What Makes Women Happy? Weldon recommends that a good womanshould fake her orgasms "and then leap out of bed and pour him champagne,telling him: 'You are so clever'. " Meanwhile, the new film, Rabbit Fever (inwhich I make a cameo appearance), launches next week, purporting to tell thestory of the sex toy's rise and its tendency to create orgasm addicts. What isit about the female orgasm nowadays? The O-word itself is horrid and its meaningis confused; the root is the Greek word for tumescence or engorgement, not forthe spasm that invariably accompanies ejaculation in the male, of whichsomething similar can be produced in the female, but less reliably and withrather more effort. Candles and carrots used to be credited with more potency intriggering female orgasm than the male member but the march of technology hasproduced a purpose-made pleasure-tool, namely the vibrator, of which the marketleader is the Rabbit. For a mere £30, any woman can acquire a "good-sizedRabbit vibrator with an extra: the beads can move up and down for pure pleasurewhilst the rabbit is teasing your cl*t", according to the advert. The rabbit isa two-eared projection on the upper side of the shaft of the instrument. Andthere's more: "The shaft has a number of pleasure beads and the touch controlallows you to choose between vibrate, pulse, escalate or multi-speed", allaccompanied by the kind of droning buzz you associate with a cordlesshedge-clipper. You can get silent Rabbits, but they cost more and they're moreof the squirmy type. Eventually men will have penile inserts that give them asimilar range of extras, vibrating eggs in the penis head, jelly spikes,rotating beads. But a man takes more looking after than a Rabbit and today'swomen don't have the time. In modern consumer society the name of the game isinstant gratification and the paradigm of all pleasure is solitary. Sole usersguarantee the widest volume of sales of any appliances, hence the iPod and theRabbit. Apparently Fay Weldon did not watch Sex and the City, which is whatlaunched the Rabbit into every boudoir in the Western world. Women no longerexpect men to supply orgasms, if they ever did. It's only the men who expect tosupply orgasms; their penis gives them so much pleasure that they can't imagineit not doing the same for their sexual partner. Most of us do fake orgasm,often, but we could do without Weldon betraying our little secret. In every pornvideo the whores are whimpering, snorting and panting from the git-go, at themerest touch in vaguely the right area from a even the rubberiest of maleorgans. Faking it is de rigueur. Most women do it because given their workloadthey need to get the sex over with in the nicest way and get some sleep. It'scalled "keeping everyone (but yourself) happy". That principle is a chiefmechanism in women's oppression and I am saddened but not surprised to hearWeldon upholding it. If you're Paris Hilton - hugely rich, entirelyself-willed and don't give a damn whether the people around you are happy or not- you can skip the whole performance. In a porn video made by some hustler whenHilton was only 18, he crouches head-down between her thighs, snuffling like atrufflehound, while she lies back, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. The sequence lasts about 20 minutes. I almost expected her to ask the famousquestion from Deep Throat: "Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?" But sheremains mute and motionless throughout. She could be asleep. Attagirl. Therest of us wouldn't dare to be so disobliging. We moan and groan to make our manfeel good, much as a man will tell his date that she's the prettiest girl in theroom. It's just good manners. And as for telling him how clever he is aftersex and pouring him a rewarding glass of champagne, it's hard to do that if he'sflat on his back snoring. Most of us are too insecure to be upfront about ourfailure to respond. Weldon is wrong: men are not expected to supply women'sorgasms. These days women are expected to produce orgasms on demand. Regardlessof age or fitness or the tedium of the relationship, we're all supposed to behot, up for it, in all circumstances, at all times. The insertion of the penisis tantamount to lighting the blue touchpaper. If we don't go off like afire-cracker, it's not the man's fault but ours. The most potent cause of somuch faking it is fear of appearing frigid, of being a "dud bash". Mid-20th-century marriage manuals encouraged men to be patient, to stimulatetheir partners in a host of different ways, and to delay their own gratificationas long as possible. The woman was to be the violin; the man the virtuoso. Witha man who knew what he was doing, a woman could experience multiple orgasms,remaining in an orgastic state for many minutes. Alas, the multiple orgasm hasproved even more elusive than the mutual orgasm. Sexualities have many formsof expression and those forms are continually changing. From 1927, when WilhelmReich first published The Function of the Orgasm, orgasms have been representedas essential to mental health. In the beginning these weren't just any orgasms;the essential orgasms were those that eliminated tensions, leaving theindividual in a state of equilibrium, self-regulating and therefore capable offreedom. Oppressive political systems, it was claimed, induced mindlessservility and impotence by censoring free sexual expression. Unfulfilledsubjects sublimated their frustrations in militarism, racism and genocide. IfHitler had had the right orgasms the Holocaust would never have happened. "Rightsex" was a purifying ritual; masturbation was discouraged. For women, theright orgasm was vaginal; orgasms deriving from stimulation of the clitoris werethought to be superficial, inferior, typical of the narcissistic immaturepersonality. Better understanding of female anatomy brought the awareness thatthere were few nerve ends in the vagina, despite the myth of the G-spot. Properstudy of the ramifications of the clitoris revealed that it was not so much alocalised button as the outcropping head of a deep neural network involving thewhole pelvis, including the vagina. The truth was out: women did not need men'shelp to reach orgasm. Indeed, men could get in the way. The more they fiddledand twiddled, the more in the way they were.
Yes, yes - well, no.
Germaine Greer, who's in a film about vibrators, cuts the Big O down to size Female orgasms wander through the news media like the Loch Ness monster,glimpsed now and then, but never quite surfacing. Now we have two moresightings, thanks to the latest book by Fay Weldon and a new film about theRabbit vibrator. In What Makes Women Happy? Weldon recommends that a good womanshould fake her orgasms "and then leap out of bed and pour him champagne,telling him: 'You are so clever'. " Meanwhile, the new film, Rabbit Fever (inwhich I make a cameo appearance), launches next week, purporting to tell thestory of the sex toy's rise and its tendency to create orgasm addicts. What isit about the female orgasm nowadays? The O-word itself is horrid and its meaningis confused; the root is the Greek word for tumescence or engorgement, not forthe spasm that invariably accompanies ejaculation in the male, of whichsomething similar can be produced in the female, but less reliably and withrather more effort. Candles and carrots used to be credited with more potency intriggering female orgasm than the male member but the march of technology hasproduced a purpose-made pleasure-tool, namely the vibrator, of which the marketleader is the Rabbit. For a mere £30, any woman can acquire a "good-sizedRabbit vibrator with an extra: the beads can move up and down for pure pleasurewhilst the rabbit is teasing your cl*t", according to the advert. The rabbit isa two-eared projection on the upper side of the shaft of the instrument. Andthere's more: "The shaft has a number of pleasure beads and the touch controlallows you to choose between vibrate, pulse, escalate or multi-speed", allaccompanied by the kind of droning buzz you associate with a cordlesshedge-clipper. You can get silent Rabbits, but they cost more and they're moreof the squirmy type. Eventually men will have penile inserts that give them asimilar range of extras, vibrating eggs in the penis head, jelly spikes,rotating beads. But a man takes more looking after than a Rabbit and today'swomen don't have the time. In modern consumer society the name of the game isinstant gratification and the paradigm of all pleasure is solitary. Sole usersguarantee the widest volume of sales of any appliances, hence the iPod and theRabbit. Apparently Fay Weldon did not watch Sex and the City, which is whatlaunched the Rabbit into every boudoir in the Western world. Women no longerexpect men to supply orgasms, if they ever did. It's only the men who expect tosupply orgasms; their penis gives them so much pleasure that they can't imagineit not doing the same for their sexual partner. Most of us do fake orgasm,often, but we could do without Weldon betraying our little secret. In every pornvideo the whores are whimpering, snorting and panting from the git-go, at themerest touch in vaguely the right area from a even the rubberiest of maleorgans. Faking it is de rigueur. Most women do it because given their workloadthey need to get the sex over with in the nicest way and get some sleep. It'scalled "keeping everyone (but yourself) happy". That principle is a chiefmechanism in women's oppression and I am saddened but not surprised to hearWeldon upholding it. If you're Paris Hilton - hugely rich, entirelyself-willed and don't give a damn whether the people around you are happy or not- you can skip the whole performance. In a porn video made by some hustler whenHilton was only 18, he crouches head-down between her thighs, snuffling like atrufflehound, while she lies back, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. The sequence lasts about 20 minutes. I almost expected her to ask the famousquestion from Deep Throat: "Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?" But sheremains mute and motionless throughout. She could be asleep. Attagirl. Therest of us wouldn't dare to be so disobliging. We moan and groan to make our manfeel good, much as a man will tell his date that she's the prettiest girl in theroom. It's just good manners. And as for telling him how clever he is aftersex and pouring him a rewarding glass of champagne, it's hard to do that if he'sflat on his back snoring. Most of us are too insecure to be upfront about ourfailure to respond. Weldon is wrong: men are not expected to supply women'sorgasms. These days women are expected to produce orgasms on demand. Regardlessof age or fitness or the tedium of the relationship, we're all supposed to behot, up for it, in all circumstances, at all times. The insertion of the penisis tantamount to lighting the blue touchpaper. If we don't go off like afire-cracker, it's not the man's fault but ours. The most potent cause of somuch faking it is fear of appearing frigid, of being a "dud bash". Mid-20th-century marriage manuals encouraged men to be patient, to stimulatetheir partners in a host of different ways, and to delay their own gratificationas long as possible. The woman was to be the violin; the man the virtuoso. Witha man who knew what he was doing, a woman could experience multiple orgasms,remaining in an orgastic state for many minutes. Alas, the multiple orgasm has proved even more elusive than the mutual orgasm.
Sexualities have many forms of expression and those forms are continually changing. From 1927, when Wilhelm Reich first published The Function of the Orgasm, orgasms have been represented as essential to mental health.
In the beginning these weren't just any orgasms;the essential orgasms were those that eliminated tensions, leaving theindividual in a state of equilibrium, self-regulating and therefore capable of freedom. Oppressive political systems, it was claimed, induced mindlessservility and impotence by censoring free sexual expression. Unfulfilledsubjects sublimated their frustrations in militarism, racism and genocide. IfHitler had had the right orgasms the Holocaust would never have happened. "Rightsex" was a purifying ritual; masturbation was discouraged. For women, theright orgasm was vaginal; orgasms deriving from stimulation of the clitoris werethought to be superficial, inferior, typical of the narcissistic immaturepersonality. Better understanding of female anatomy brought the awareness thatthere were few nerve ends in the vagina, despite the myth of the G-spot. Properstudy of the ramifications of the clitoris revealed that it was not so much alocalised button as the outcropping head of a deep neural network involving thewhole pelvis, including the vagina. The truth was out: women did not need men'shelp to reach orgasm. Indeed, men could get in the way. The more they fiddledand twiddled, the more in the way they were. Body&soulFaking it? The tyranny of the female orgasmYes, yes - well, no.Germaine Greer, who's in a film about vibrators, cuts the Big O down to size Female orgasms wander through the news media like the Loch Ness monster,glimpsed now and then, but never quite surfacing. Now we have two moresightings, thanks to the latest book by Fay Weldon and a new film about theRabbit vibrator. In What Makes Women Happy? Weldon recommends that a good womanshould fake her orgasms "and then leap out of bed and pour him champagne,telling him: 'You are so clever'. " Meanwhile, the new film, Rabbit Fever (inwhich I make a cameo appearance), launches next week, purporting to tell thestory of the sex toy's rise and its tendency to create orgasm addicts. What isit about the female orgasm nowadays? The O-word itself is horrid and its meaningis confused; the root is the Greek word for tumescence or engorgement, not forthe spasm that invariably accompanies ejaculation in the male, of whichsomething similar can be produced in the female, but less reliably and withrather more effort. Candles and carrots used to be credited with more potency intriggering female orgasm than the male member but the march of technology hasproduced a purpose-made pleasure-tool, namely the vibrator, of which the marketleader is the Rabbit. For a mere £30, any woman can acquire a "good-sizedRabbit vibrator with an extra: the beads can move up and down for pure pleasurewhilst the rabbit is teasing your cl*t", according to the advert. The rabbit isa two-eared projection on the upper side of the shaft of the instrument. Andthere's more: "The shaft has a number of pleasure beads and the touch controlallows you to choose between vibrate, pulse, escalate or multi-speed", allaccompanied by the kind of droning buzz you associate with a cordlesshedge-clipper. You can get silent Rabbits, but they cost more and they're moreof the squirmy type. Eventually men will have penile inserts that give them asimilar range of extras, vibrating eggs in the penis head, jelly spikes,rotating beads. But a man takes more looking after than a Rabbit and today'swomen don't have the time. In modern consumer society the name of the game isinstant gratification and the paradigm of all pleasure is solitary. Sole usersguarantee the widest volume of sales of any appliances, hence the iPod and theRabbit. Apparently Fay Weldon did not watch Sex and the City, which is whatlaunched the Rabbit into every boudoir in the Western world. Women no longerexpect men to supply orgasms, if they ever did. It's only the men who expect tosupply orgasms; their penis gives them so much pleasure that they can't imagineit not doing the same for their sexual partner. Most of us do fake orgasm,often, but we could do without Weldon betraying our little secret. In every pornvideo the whores are whimpering, snorting and panting from the git-go, at themerest touch in vaguely the right area from a even the rubberiest of maleorgans. Faking it is de rigueur. Most women do it because given their workloadthey need to get the sex over with in the nicest way and get some sleep. It'scalled "keeping everyone (but yourself) happy". That principle is a chiefmechanism in women's oppression and I am saddened but not surprised to hearWeldon upholding it. If you're Paris Hilton - hugely rich, entirelyself-willed and don't give a damn whether the people around you are happy or not- you can skip the whole performance. In a porn video made by some hustler whenHilton was only 18, he crouches head-down between her thighs, snuffling like atrufflehound, while she lies back, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. The sequence lasts about 20 minutes. I almost expected her to ask the famousquestion from Deep Throat: "Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?" But sheremains mute and motionless throughout. She could be asleep. Attagirl. Therest of us wouldn't dare to be so disobliging. We moan and groan to make our manfeel good, much as a man will tell his date that she's the prettiest girl in theroom. It's just good manners. And as for telling him how clever he is aftersex and pouring him a rewarding glass of champagne, it's hard to do that if he'sflat on his back snoring. Most of us are too insecure to be upfront about ourfailure to respond. Weldon is wrong: men are not expected to supply women'sorgasms. These days women are expected to produce orgasms on demand. Regardlessof age or fitness or the tedium of the relationship, we're all supposed to behot, up for it, in all circumstances, at all times. The insertion of the penisis tantamount to lighting the blue touchpaper. If we don't go off like afire-cracker, it's not the man's fault but ours. The most potent cause of somuch faking it is fear of appearing frigid, of being a "dud bash". Mid-20th-century marriage manuals encouraged men to be patient, to stimulatetheir partners in a host of different ways, and to delay their own gratificationas long as possible. The woman was to be the violin; the man the virtuoso. Witha man who knew what he was doing, a woman could experience multiple orgasms,remaining in an orgastic state for many minutes. Alas, the multiple orgasm hasproved even more elusive than the mutual orgasm. Sexualities have many formsof expression and those forms are continually changing. From 1927, when WilhelmReich first published The Function of the Orgasm, orgasms have been representedas essential to mental health. In the beginning these weren't just any orgasms;the essential orgasms were those that eliminated tensions, leaving theindividual in a state of equilibrium, self-regulating and therefore capable offreedom. Oppressive political systems, it was claimed, induced mindlessservility and impotence by censoring free sexual expression. Unfulfilledsubjects sublimated their frustrations in militarism, racism and genocide. IfHitler had had the right orgasms the Holocaust would never have happened. "Rightsex" was a purifying ritual; masturbation was discouraged. For women, theright orgasm was vaginal; orgasms deriving from stimulation of the clitoris werethought to be superficial, inferior, typical of the narcissistic immaturepersonality. Better understanding of female anatomy brought the awareness thatthere were few nerve ends in the vagina, despite the myth of the G-spot. Properstudy of the ramifications of the clitoris revealed that it was not so much alocalised button as the outcropping head of a deep neural network involving thewhole pelvis, including the vagina. The truth was out: women did not need men'shelp to reach orgasm. Indeed, men could get in the way. The more they fiddledand twiddled, the more in the way they were.
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